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April Challenge

Posted by chili_powda on 2006.04.24 at 04:28
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: Tom McRae - "You Only Disappear"
Hey, it's my first post here, so... be kind. ;) Here's the prompt I chose from:

1.) Choose one of the words: reborn, crazied, chaos, turmoil, pariah, joy, anger, spilt, graded, crank, bellows, contained, define, sweet, helpful, blanched, or curtailed.

Tap, tap, tap. Your fingers drum on the wheel, trying in vain to flush the anger from your body before it explodes violently out your ears. Tap, tap, tap.. You stare out at the endless line of red lights ahead of you, glance in your rear-view at the endless line of white, and bite your lip, feeling another swell of rage through your body. Closing your eyes, you can feel the stress-induced tears starting to surface. Your sunglasses will hide them, not that anyone would really notice either way.

The car ahead of you inches forward before abruptly stopping, and you don’t even bother to lift your foot from the brake. Beep. Your phone battery again informs you that it’s dying, and you sigh, your eyes catching the near-empty gas meter on your dashboard.

For a second, you blame yourself: you should have left earlier, should have checked the traffic, should have taken side streets -- no, this isn’t your fault. It’s all these people around you, four feet away in the next lane, checking their lipstick, calling their agents or wives or mistresses; they aren’t comrades, and you aren’t all in this together. They’re useless, lifeless, pointless machines. And the worst part is, they’re all totally oblivious to it. And to you. Tap, tap, tap.

Look at them: they aren’t even angry. Beep. How can they even be human? The woman next to you, in a car the size of a tank, holds her phone in her well-manicured hands and laughs, and you grip the wheel, hard, your knuckles turning white under your stretched skin. Yeah, this is fucking hilarious. You want to grab her phone and crush it against her freshly completed nose job, and as the blood spit and gurgled from her broken face, you’d be the one laughing. One less robot to take up room on the freeway. Hell, you’d be doing all the other robots a favor.

Tap, tap, tap. You try and calm yourself, despite watching the gas meter inch further toward empty. You won’t be fired for being late just this once. But that isn’t the point, is it? Beep. The point is that there isn’t any point to this, at least not what you’re doing right here, sitting in a traffic jam wanting to break someone’s face with their cell phone.

The swell returns to your chest and you wonder if it’s your blood pressure surging, or your soul trying to escape before you destroy yourself. You could die out here on this stupid asphalt hell, die from screaming so hard that your heart explodes, followed quickly by all of the delicate membranes of your brain. Oh, that would be a magnificent, ironically glorious ending to this, wouldn’t it. You’d cause your very own traffic jam, slumped lifeless in your car with your brains oozing out your ears, the paramedics unable to get to you because that stupid bitch in the tank is blocking them, because she’s on her phone and yours is dying and she’s too fucking happy and at ease in this hell to even be human. The fact is, you don’t exist on this road. You don’t exist until you cut someone off, or park in their spot, or stick a gun out the window and put holes in their custom paint job. You’re just one more vertebrae on the back of this never-ending snake of cars and trucks, and every minute that you don’t move feels like part of you is dying.


You don’t even realize you’re screaming until you feel the burn in your throat. And you’re no longer tapping the wheel, but pounding it relentlessly with your fists, occasionally hitting the airbag covering, wanting it to explode in your face and maybe knock you senseless, or snap your neck, putting you out of your misery completely.

The woman in the tank would think that was fucking hilarious.


evidenceshows at 2006-04-24 19:53 (UTC) (Link)
Wow dude this so rocks!! I love how you have the repatition of the sounds and the imagery is just perfect to create the mood. Bravo!
Settle down, Beavis
chili_powda at 2006-04-24 21:53 (UTC) (Link)
Gracias! Thanks for reading! :)
The Captain Of My Ship, The Master Of My Soul
gonzo21 at 2006-04-26 17:09 (UTC) (Link)
This is really very good indeed. It also feels like the first part of something bigger to me too. Is there more do you think?

The tap tap repitition is extremely well done. As is the emotional honesty of it. I really feel like I'm sitting in a traffic jam in a busy city.
Settle down, Beavis
chili_powda at 2006-05-05 10:55 (UTC) (Link)
I suppose I could always extend it into something longer... I could ramble on about how much I hate traffic for a long, long time. ;)

But thanks for reading.
The Captain Of My Ship, The Master Of My Soul
gonzo21 at 2006-05-05 11:14 (UTC) (Link)
Ah, I wondered if it was at least partially semi-autobiographical. :)
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